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EmpowerMe exists purely for people like you and me. People who have suffered through a period of trauma or challenges, who have come out the other side, and put in the work to begin healing, but for some reason still feel stuck in life. I have been there myself; I know how suffocating it feels, but I also know how incredible it feels once you break free from that and start moving your life forward on your terms.
After years of therapy, research, study and putting all I had learned into practice on myself, I created the EmpowerMe courses so I could share it with others. I am still learning and adding to these courses as I go, I don’t think that will ever change, it’s how I can keep evolving in my life and making sure what I am giving back to the world is the best it can be.
Having worked in the mental health and sexual violence systemic advocacy space I’ve been privy to data and been contracted to do research on the ‘learning online’ space. Initially believing that online learning had a disconnect, I soon came to realise that with personal and self-discovery work, it is different. When we go to see a therapist, it’s generally at someone else’s house and it takes us weeks or sometimes months to feel comfortable or safe in that environment. When we can learn this stuff in our own bedroom or lounge, we are already in our safe space. When we have internal shifts in our own environment, the shifts are integrated into our habitual patterns quicker because the relational memory of learning is in our everyday routines. So online learning in this space, is actually more beneficial than face to face.
If you’re reading this and feel like it’s time to take back control of your life, you’re in the right place and I’d love to have you join the EmpowerMe community. A place where you can feel supported, understood and truly seen. A place where you can delve deeper into why you are the way you are and how to change the things that no longer serve you. A place where you can learn the tools you need to believe in your goals and aspirations and start to take the steps towards making them a reality. I will guide you every step of the way – you just have to be open to believing in yourself and ready to be the author of the next chapter of your life.
Safety and Connection are essential on the EmpowerME journey and we establish this in our first session with the group. When we feel safe, our nervous system is operating from a parasympathetic state (rest and digest), we are more attune to ourselves, our needs and the needs of others. We often feel safe in our own home and have designed EmpowerME courses to be online for this purpose. Being able to do the inner work from your safe space allows you to connect easier to the content as well as connecting to the reality of your home life, which means you integrate the learnings quicker.
Gratitude is the baseline of EmpowerME. Where it all began, with a simple daily gratitude practice. Learning the neuroscience that supports your gratitude practice and the impact it has on your life; we follow this up with how we begin and end each session. Opening and closing with Karakia or a blessing to give thanks for the learning, the space we have to learn and each other as whanau on this journey. Each learner has access to a ‘3 Good Things’ journal to write in each night of our 8-week courses, slowly and gently redirecting our pathways to a solutions-based lens of the world, flexing our neuro-plasticity muscles in the process.
Self-determination is what aligns us with who we are, where we have been and who we want to become in the world. your facilitators are not your guru, YOU are. We are here to provide a safe and supportive space and specifically designed activities for you to explore a deeper essence of who and why you are, leading you to the answers already within you. What you get out of the course is dependent on what you put in.
Mana is the spiritual life force energy or healing power that permeates the universe. In my Maori culture, anyone or thing can have mana. It is a cultivation or possession of energy, rather than being a source of power. We acknowledge your mana every step of the way.
Survivor | Author | EQ Learning Designer
Trauma Informed Practitioner | Mindfulness Coach | Business Owner
My story is full of triggering and heavy topics such as sexual abuse and rape, which is why I won’t delve into great detail right now, but if you are interested in the full story, you can read it here. For now, I’ll just give you a summary…
As a young child, I was abused for 12 years. I don’t remember a lot about my life throughout those years, I’ve blocked a lot of it out, but I do remember feeling alone, scared and confused for my entire childhood. This led me down a path of toxic relationships and environments, drug addiction, and self-destructive behaviour patterns and detrimental belief systems.
Years later I managed to break free from the lifestyle that was potentially going to eventuate in my death, come out of an abusive and destructive relationship and found myself as a single mother living with my father, bankrupt and living in constant fight or flight. So, I used my 30th birthday as an excuse to ‘get numb’ and I did a very good job of that, landing myself in hospital with drug and alcohol poisoning. This was my turning point.
My father brought my daughter to see me in hospital and I will never forget the look in her eyes. Only three years old, and her protector, her safe space, her nurturer, her love, hooked up to this hospital bed. At that very moment, I knew something deep inside me needed to change. I felt her look as the thousands of words and thousands more questions it was. I felt her fear, her sadness, her confusion. What she saw was reflected directly back to me. Is this who I want my daughter to grow up to be? Is this how I am going to teach her how to be a good human in the world? No, it certainly was not.
For a long time, I saw myself as broken, unlovable, unworthy of having the emotionally fulfilling connections that I saw happening around me. It’s taken a lot of work to shift my deeply embedded mindset and to figure out what keeps me feeling my absolute best. It is a lifelong and daily practice to stay there.
Since that moment in that hospital bed, I have invested my energy into years of therapy, holistic healing, reflection, study, research and science. I have a deep fascination with the human brain, our response to trauma, and the various methods and practices which create change in the nervous systems of our bodies. I turned my addiction to drugs and numbing my pain into an obsession for healing myself. But that wasn’t enough for me, I felt compelled to use my knowledge and experience to help others through it too. This led to the birth of EmpowerMe – a safe and supportive environment for survivors to connect, explore and learn what feels good for them—knowing they are not alone in their experiences—and a place where they can imagine who they dream to be, where they are supported to become that. To provide a platform where women can empower themselves and each other constantly and continuously for as long as they need it.
This platform is everything that I am and everything I want to be, for myself and for every other survivor of violence and sexual abuse. It’s what I wished I’d had when I did therapy while still experiencing an uncertainty of who I was and how I fit in the world. It’s the sisterhood I always thought I didn’t deserve, the mother who never had the capacity to support me emotionally, and the community that gives me a sense of belonging and purpose.
I know how important trust is when it comes to investing in your journey of healing and rebuilding your life. I pride myself on the work I have done and the knowledge I have built to enable me to offer the type of support and guidance you receive here at EmpowerMe. I am always learning, which means as long as you’re a part of this community, so will you. To date these are the relevant qualifications I have gained to support my own transformational journey and to enable me to help others do the same…
